Review: Game of Thrones - S06 E09 - The Battle of the Bastards

Spoiler Alert: These reviews contain spoilers for the titled episode. They may also contain spoilers for any previous episodes and published book content. If you are not caught up, this is your warning.

Ok, I don't know if I've reacted as much as I did during this episode to any movie or TV show ever.  The Walking Dead, Orange is the New Black, Daredevil, Captain America: Civil War, etc etc; none of them held a candle to what we witnessed tonight.

There's a reason the idea of the "Epic 9's" came out of this show and tonight topped everything else it's thrown at us.  What we got this Father's Day Sunday evening was nothing short of the most intense, bombastic, visceral, gut-wrenching, whoop-inducing, awe-inspiring thing that's been done on TV *ever*.

Tonight boiled down to arguably the largest two plot-lines (at least in terms of geographical scale / impact).  We've got the Siege of Meereen and The Battle for Winterfell (more colloquially known as "BASTARD BOWL 2016").

In Meereen we pick up with Dany having some serious words with Tyrion and them essentially coming to terms with what is going to need to happen.  It's time to play hardball.  Right on cue, the great pyramid gets rocked, doors and windows get blown in and they decide they better go meet with those slavers again.

And meet with them they do.  For a brief moment it looks like they may be negotiating the surrender of Meereen and then the thing we've been waiting for for so long finally happens:

Drogon, sun-blottingly massive, soars in, lands on top of the huge tower next to them and casts this incredible shadow over everyone.  In this moment, you have to imagine that the slavers must have soiled themselves.  He is *gigantic* and damned terrifying.

Taking off, we get Rhaegal and Vyserion in on the attack and the three dragons soar to battle, united for the first time.  When they set to the fleet and Dany calls "Dracarys!" it was freakin' chill inducing.  The ensuing chaos and havoc was incredible; the sheer spectacle magnificent.

Back with Tyrion, the slavers get an understanding of their true situation and happily hand over the one guy who is lowborn among them.  With a cheer from us, Grey Worm cuts down the other two.  Tyrion sends this last poor chump on his way to spread the word: Do Not Eff With The Dragon Lady.

Also, worth mentioning, is the talk with Theon and Yara.  In all honesty, I really liked this bit.  Dany is appropriately intrigued by them showing up (which seemed fast but there has been some time jumping recently) and she hears them out.  Tyrion handles them well and seems to act as a decent BS filter before they really talk to Dany herself.  There was some great back and forth and it's interesting seeing Theon slowly pulling himself together.  He really does seem to be a changed man.

The dialog between Dany and Asha was my favorite, though.  It was all summed up when Dany says that the piracy, reaving, murdering, raping, etc will stop.  Yara says "But... that's our way of life..." to which Dany says "Not anymore."  With that, they struck an accord I honestly felt good about.  It may just be a new dawn for the Iron Islands.

Then, after that killer appetizer, we get to the main event: Jon Snow and the gang against Ramsay Bolton and the entire coalesced scum of the North in a winner-take-all throw-down for the capital of the North and our surrogate home in Game of Thrones: Winterfell.

This entire sequence was just insane.  I felt like this may have done a better job than anything else I've ever seen at illustrating how scary, claustrophobic, messy, brutal and just downright crazy war can really be.  But I'm getting a bit ahead of myself.

Right off we're greeted with the smiling face of Ramsay Bolton and the not-so-happy face of Jon (and their respective teams).  Jon proposes an idea we both love and hate: single combat.  We love it because we know Jon would wreck Ramsay and stop the whole thing from happening, but hate it because it means no epic battle.  Ah well, you win some you lose some... sometimes both... simultaneously...

The strategy meeting is next and they did a great job of really getting you to see how dire the situation is.  They're outnumbered 3-to-1, more or less, and Ramsay's guys (loathsome as they may be) are no slouches.  Our heroes being victorious depends utterly on controlling the situation.  We'll see how that works out...

The dialog in the scene is so good, and I thought Tormund was a standout here.  Honestly the guy could be related to Drax the Destroyer.  "They can't flank us."  "What?" "You know, like a pincer maneuver." "What?" "They won't be able to hit us from the sides at the same time." "Good."  Not a man to mince words, Tormund.

His scene walking with Davos was great too.  Walking and talking, they actually find common ground: common men who got close to kings that failed.  Oh, and Tormund's reaction when Davos said Stannis had demons in him was absolutely hysterical.

In the tent, we get this great conversation between Jon and Sansa and we really see Sansa bring her now-years of experience to bear.  "Jon, you're planning rationally and Ramsay is expecting that.  This psycho is actually really smart, really cunning and brilliant when it comes to manipulating people.  Don't do what he wants you to do."  Easy advice, but how's that pan out when the rubber meets the road?

Davos, on his walk, goes through the camp and stumbles on the remains of Shireen's pyre.  With mounting horror he finds the little stag he carved her and it is one of the saddest things ever.  Not only was she just a kid but, odd as it might be, one of his best friends.  This will blow up next episode, it looks like.

I think the other scene that was worth mentioning was Melisandre explaining to Jon the resurrection process, that it's not up to her and it's not up to him.  If you're supposed to come back, you'll be coming back.  Jon doesn't want it, but too bad.

This is interesting because it gives us a brief idea that Jon may actually die here.  It'd be weird, sure, but it could happen.

Dawn breaks and we're off to the races.

Ramsay trots out and tagging along behind him is Rickon Stark.  Being the Ramsay we know so well, he presents Rickon with a seemingly simple task (which we have a really bad feeling about).  This entire plan is to draw out Jon and play on his rage.  It is manipulation at its finest (and lets not forget, he's only known Jon a day).  Rickon makes a beeline to Jon and dies right when Ramsay means him to.  Right when Jon is drawn out.

This is the trigger.  Jon clearly says "eff it" and flies full-tilt at the Bolton line and we wind up at one of the most epic shots of the show.  Jon rises off the ground, slow motion, to stare and the entire Bolton cavalry charging at him, ready to take them all on himself.

From this point forward, it's essentially pure, unabated adrenaline and grungy cinematography.  Moments like the horse charge, Wun Wun standing at the front of the line, the overhead shot of the Bolton forces hemming in our heroes, and many others, they were all incredible.

I think the main ones that stuck with me were of Jon and the bodies.  There's a point in the battle when the camera has cut back and we see a sweeping shot of the battlefield and it is bodies.  Not bodies laying on the ground; no, the ground is a ten-foot-deep pile of bodies that everyone is walking, fighting and dying on top of, growing it ever higher.

Before long, the tide turns and our heroes change direction, start running.  Jon is caught in the rush.  Fighters slam into one another, knocking each other around, spinning, jarring.  I remember my mom looked over at me briefly during this part and said "I'm confused."  I said "You're supposed to be."  That's just it.  It's a mass of terrified humanity propelled by death, either fleeing from it, or pursuing it.  Jon goes down under the tide.

It's here that the episode ascended to a new height.  Jon tries to move, to get back up.  It's muddy, he's smashed down.  No one knows he's there.  No one can know he's there.  The feet thunder past.  He's pressed down further and further, the muck sucking him down as his own men scramble for safety, crushing their leader to death.  Jon is literally drowning in a tide of humanity.

The men run, climbing up and over the mountains of bodies.  Split guts, severed limbs, screaming faces; we realize Jon isn't the only one.  The hills are built of the living dying, men crying out, bleeding into the grime and Jon is being suffocated in it.

He struggles, reaches and climbs for all he's worth and breaks free, springing up from the depths as surely as a swimmer too long under water.  He breaks the surface and in the midst of the horror, sees the sun.

It was a gorgeously done scene, pure and simple.

As the battle moves forward, things almost seem lost, and we hear a horn blast.  All heads turn and we see a blue banner bearing the Moon and Falcon of the Vale snapping with the charge.  Littlefinger and Sansa look over the battle as the Knights of the Vale charge in to obliterate the remaining Bolton forces.  Looks like Sansa knew what was most likely to come and had this one in her pocket; utilizing the element of surprise to massive effect.

Finally, once it was settled, the carnage at a standstill, Jon sees Ramsay.  He, Wun Wun and Tormund take off after him.  Wun Wun, in epic fashion, crushes the Winterfell gate and taking everything they threw at him.  Only when he takes a last arrow in the eye from Ramsay himself does the juggernaut fall.

I am the last of the Giants....

Ramsay takes his last opportunity for single combat, but Jon beast-modes through, charges Ramsay down and beats him and doesn't stop until he sees Sansa.

We finally see the Flayed Man fall.  Once again the Dire Wolf flies in Winterfell.

We finally find Ramsay strapped into a chair and realize that he's in the kennels.  Some poetic justice is gonna go down.  Sansa tells Ramsay something that finally seems to get to him: he's going to disappear.  No one is going to remember him.  No one is going to care.  No known legacy of his will remain to the world.  All that remains for him is to be devoured by the hounds he's starved.

It's cathartic, in a way.  It's incredibly satisfying to see Ramsay Bolton  ended for good.  It's also pretty scary to see Sansa genuinely smile after taking someone out in such gruesome fashion.

That seems to be the theme here; that even as the tide turns towards our heroes favor, it carries them to darker places.  Dany, Tyrion, Jon, Sansa, all are no longer so averse to vengeance, giving in to their darker natures so long as they're in service to a righteous cause.  How do we feel about that?

Thanks again for reading.  This was one for the ages and composing so many of my thoughts so quickly after such an massive episode was an incredible task.  I hope you enjoyed it and that you join me next time for our season finale!

As always, go check out the gentlemen from Boiled Leather, Sean T. Collins and Steffan Sasse with their reviews over at Rolling Stone and The Nerdstream Era.